Well, is it? Arrogant to ‘accept yourself’?
Last time I talked about loving yourself and one of my blogging friends referred to self acceptance, in the comments.
As usual this started me thinking and today I’d like to share some questions with you, about self acceptance.
Pretty busy again today in the Café – could it because we’ve started serving Italian ice-cream? I’m having double chocolate chip, how about you? There’s no charge!
Let me start by saying that I’m not for one moment suggesting that my friend is arrogant, far from it. But as I started making notes on the topic of self acceptance I couldn’t help asking these questions -
What does self acceptance imply?
Does it imply that -
1. You don’t have to change a thing because you’re OK as you are?
You don’t need to change your
- way of life?
Surely all these are attributes that you may well want to change. You don’t accept them. You want to do something to improve the way you are, to alter the habits that are camouflaging the real you.
2. Do you accept yourself, ‘warts and all’?
Surely not. Warts can be cured, if that’s what you want. But only if that’s what you want.
Let me explain what I mean …
Here’re some of my ‘warts’ -
- being too critical of others, (Working on that with Ken Wert’s help by taking his Challenge of Not Complaining for a Whole Week!)
- being reluctant to travel, (a left over from my agoraphobia in my 30′s)
- being phobic about snakes, (finally cured in 2001)
What are your ‘warts’? Are you happy to accept them or would you like to cure them?
3. Do you accept your faults?
By this I mean -
- you’re nearly always late for arrangements,
- you often forget birthdays and get cross about it,
- you shout at drivers who annoy you,
- you’re never satisfied with how you look.
I’m sure you can add to my list.
If I hear someone say that they accept themselves it makes me think that -
- they’re stuck in a rut,
- they’re happier to be lazy,
- they’ve given up on the possibility of improvement.
If I’d simply accepted myself I’d never have handled my snake, conquered my stammer, written my book or started this blog.
I’m wondering if Self Acceptance means something quite different to what I’ve listed above.
I’m hoping you can enlighten me and tell me what you think it means, in the comments.
Before you rush to your lap top to type your comment, how about joining us, at the Confidence Café?
Just like the ice-cream, coffee and everything else, there’s no charge…