Were you there?
At the ‘Worst Doormat’ Award ceremony?
Here’s how it went, for those of you who missed it…
Imagine the lack of excitement as the contenders began to arrive…
The fashionistas had a ball…
So many drab, beige people, heads held low, faces pale and uninteresting, dawdling along the grey carpet towards the entrance to the third rate hotel.
A bit of a dreb venue but that was to be expected with so many drab contestants.
After the dinner was over… (well, more of a last minute apology for a dinner)… judging began.
Each contestant was interviewed by our team of judges for 5 minutes, explaining why he/she should be chosen for the ‘Worst Doormat’ award.
Here’re some extracts from the interviews for you…
Contestant number 1.
A young wife who wants to be heard.
Q. Why should we give the award to you?
A. (In a whisper) Well, I suppose it’s because I never speak up for myself. I do have opinions but I know that no-one listens.
Q. And why don’t you feel you can speak up?
A. (Still in a whisper) Well, I suppose because I’m afraid they’ll laugh or poke fun at me.
Q. Have you ever been laughed at when you speak up?
A. No… but they might… and I don’t like confrontations. It’s just easier to keep quiet and hide my thoughts.
Me. No! It’s not!
It’s harder! You’ll get more and more introverted, more and more frustrated, more and more fed up! Unless you make a change, however difficult it sounds, you’ll stay exactly as you are… a Doormat.
Contestant number 2.
An unhappy wife who ‘does it all’ but hates it.
Q. Tell us about how you qualify for this award.
A. I always let my husband have his own way.
- I’m always the designated driver when we go out,
- I do all the cooking and shopping,
- I organise our finances,
- I organise the vacation that he chooses,
- I buy all the Christmas and Birthday gifts…
Q. And does all this make you happy?
A. No. I’m very sad and miserable most of the time, but it’s too late to change anything now. I’m a Doormat. It’s easier to put up with it.
Me. No! It’s not!
All you’re doing is becoming resentful, angry, tearful and wasting your life. You must discuss all this with your husband. Tell him how you feel, calmly and quietly. Perhaps he doesn’t realise how you feel. You’re supposed to work as a team when you’re married! You sound more like a servant.
A. You could be right. I haven’t discussed it with him because I hate any confrontation or argument.
Me. No-one likes them! But if you don’t begin to make a change, nothing will happen, except that you’ll qualify for this ‘Worst Doormat Award’
A ‘good neighbour’ who feels trapped.
Q. Tell us why you should have this award today.
A. I live next to a very demanding neighbour and she’s making my life a misery and I feel like a Doormat.
Q. In what way?
A. She phones at all hours asking me to do small favours, like taking her to the shops or to the hairdresser. Sometimes I’m in the middle of something important and I have to drop everything to see what she wants.
Q. Why can’t she do these things herself?
A. Oh, she can! It’s as if she’s seeking my attention all the time.
Q. Have you ever said ‘No’ to her demands?
A. Emmmm… well… no. I don’t want to upset her. It’s easier to do what she asks.
Me. No! It’s not!
Is it OK for you to be upset instead? If you want to make a change to this relationship then I suggest you try this:
- Don’t always answer your phone immediately. She’ll leave a message if it’s urgent.
- Say ‘No’ to a request but, if you want to, you can suggest an alternate time (that suits you), to help her.
- Try putting a time limit on your visits. Explain that you have to be elsewhere in half an hour, or an hour and you can only give her that amount of time.
A. I’ll try. But I don’t know how she’ll react when I start to say No. It’s too late now, surely?
Me. It’s never too late to make a change. Yes, she’ll be surprised at first but gradually she’ll get used to the fact that you’re not going to dance to her tune.
We interviewed many more contestants for the Award and you can read the full report about the winner in the press. The contest will be held again next year. Get your application in today!
Tell us, in the comments,
- Will you be taking part next year?
- Do you qualify as a Doormat?
- Tell us how you deal with Doormat issues in your life.