Have you contracted Confidence Rot?
Are you fed up with …
- believing you don’t matter?
- feeling insignificant?
- not having the confidence to face a challenge?
- …… (fill your reason in here!)
- watching ‘everyone else’ doing all the things you’d love to do but can’t?
Hey! Wait a flippin’ minute… Why can’t you? Because …. you’re scared to try, you’re scared of failure, you’re …. scared… full stop!
But, I hear you ask, why am I scared? They’re not scared! Why me?
My mission in this post is to help you find and enjoy your confidence muscle.
(I’ve borrowed that concept from Leo in this post. Pop it on your list of ‘Posts To Read’ now, before you forget…)
If you can discover why and how your confidence left you, it’ll be easier to ‘stop the rot’. OK! You’ll need your Confidence Journal and a pencil…
Let’s think about…
Why did you lose your confidence?
Did you ever have confidence? Of course you did. Think about when you were a child.
Remember that amazing feeling when you…
- climbed to the top of that tree?
- passed that exam/test? (Yes, cycling proficiency does count…)
- learnt to swim?
- read a whole book for the first time?
Now for the clue as to why you were confident back then. You were confident because you were encouraged, praised, supported.
You were getting plenty of Positive Feedback.
You believed you could do whatever it was.
In your Journal, write down the heading, My Childhood. Think back over your life and answer these, as fully as you can.
- Were you ever confident as a child?
- What was school like for you?
- Were you successful at anything? Write it down.
- Were you proud of your hobbies?
- Did you win any certificates/badges?
- How did this make you feel?
- Who gave you praise?
So… if you didn’t get it when you were child, you probably became shy, a bit introverted, unsure of yourself.
- Told off,
- Made a fool of,
- Picked on,
All this negativity can only result in producing a child/teenager/adult who lacks confidence, unless the rot is stopped.
Here is one Simple, Practical Step that you can take to begin to attack the ‘confidence rot’ -
Start giving Yourself Some Positive Feedback.
Now, stop reading this for a moment and look in the mirror.
Who do you see?
Now smile. Properly.
There! A transformation!
Your challenge is – just for today, smile in a mirror; a shop window will do, any shiny surface, just smile at yourself.
OK, people might stare at this crazy person who’s grinning at their reflection in the shop window but, hey! they ‘re probably thinking how confident you look!
Smile at everyone you meet or talk to today.
That includes - the person who cuts you up on the motorway, the person who pushes in front of you in the line, the old man who frowns at you, the unhelpful woman on the phone from the call centre, (yes, you even have to smile down the phone), the grumpy postman, the miserable child, the sad looking mother… everyone!
I guarantee that if you do this, just for one day, your confidence will grow.
Why? Because you’re giving (and getting) positive feedback.
Today I have shown you that confidence was once part of you.
It’s become eroded over the years and it feels as if it never existed. But it did.
Here in The Café I’m going to help you re-discover it, use it and own it until it becomes a habit.
- Tell us about a time in your life when you were full of confidence.
- Tell us what happened to start the confidence rot setting in.
- Tell us about your priority area in which you’re determined to be more confident.
Join us today and meet like minded regulars!
Image – Expatphotog on Flickr